The problem is theirs, don’t waste time feeling like it’s yours.
Which leads on to…It’s so easy to fall into the trap of believing you have to explain how you came to be a single parent.
Just because you fancy a date doesn’t mean you are looking for someone to fill a void.
Because of the stigma surrounding single parents and myths I was believing at the time, my subconscious told me I would have more luck keeping my profile baby-free. On my first date after being pregnant, dumped and giving birth – when my self-esteem had hit rock bottom – I sat opposite a man who visibly quivered when I revealed I was a mum and compared my child to his ongoing battle with Crohn’s disease.
But regular singletons don’t instantly picture a future where they’ve settled down and had four kids, so neither should your date.
Someone recently broke up with me because they just “couldn’t get their head around being a dad”. He just went all Mystic Meg and couldn’t handle it.
My personal solution here is to ask my boyfriends to work by the rules of a public swimming pool: if you wouldn’t get away with it there, don’t do it in front of my son. But it also means more special time as a couple when you do manage to escape for those precious nights away (once you’ve found a very trusted babysitter, of course).
Perhaps it’s only natural for the person you are dating to think about the future with you, given your life situation as a parent.