C.: I am an outgoing and friendly woman in my late 20s. I always have to do the asking -- I can only think of one or two situations where a man was bold enough to even come over and talk to me. When men see a woman with a wall up, all but the ones with guts run for the exits. the only pick up line a woman ever has to use for a guy is to make some eye contact, smile and say the word "Hello" because what we hear is... Let me know, if they do approach you, they won't be sorry. I meet lots of guys that I enjoy hanging out with but things never progress to "dating". but you might not have much to talk about after you're done. Coleman: Yes, if you don't plan on seeing him much in the future. " HOWEVER, as much as men want this, they will think long and hard about being with a woman long term who "slept' with them on a first date. If you think he could be the real deal, make sure he knows a lot more about you before he knows the color of your bedroom walls. I've been dating an amazing guy for a few months, and during that time, we basically spent all our free time together. This means you could enter whenever you want, even when he doesn't know you are coming. If he has been divorced before, he may have a very long memory. Reality: You have dated them long enough to know EXACTLY who they are. We ended flirting all weekend, and then hooking up after the wedding. Coleman: Without knowing you I can only assume that your demeanor or outward attitude is conveying that you are not interested in them or already taken. Even the biggest, strongest macho man turns into a little boy and runs and hides when he is turned down by a woman. any man throwing so many "reasons" and "excuses" as to why is can't and won't work, is looking for a way out and may have already given up his heart and time to another. You sound sweet and vulnerable and that gives him all the control. C.: Looking forward to seeing "Hitch" this weekend! This can and will repeat until someone does something to get both people help or bring the relationship to closure... (for the times I arrive before him and he's not there), he says he's not the "I love you" type and when he talks about kids he says "yours" or "mine" and never "ours." What should I do? Is there a way to approach him without making me look too desperate or needy? Coleman: Wow, the fact that he does not want you to have a key sends a few red flags.... He may not feel close enough to you for you to have full time access to his "private and personal" life. Discovery: You begin to learn more about them and realize they are not perfect. I finally met her husband's cousin (who I had been hearing about for 2 years) and there was some immediate chemistry.
C.: Dearest Date Doc: How do I get my boyfriend of a year to delve back into his romantic roots? The person who loves, cares or tries the least, the one who is least invested, has all the control in a relationship. Make up a list of these activities and "explain" to him that you're more than willing to go out with him if you could please meet the man you used to know at a place you used to enjoy visiting! and are wonderful sites if you put honest information, current pictures and date only those people who truly interest you. They will feel great about you and the time will fly by. A "hmm" is someone you see who stops you dead in your tracks and makes you go hmm!!! I was with a guy for 13 years and when we moved in together after we became engaged things fell apart. After I moved out a year later I went thru different relationships and no one seem really to tickle my fanny. heartfelt love, a love you choose, it grows stronger over time. friendship, enjoying each other's company and intimacy. do you trust him, respect him, want to spend intimate time with him... Becoming a loving couple does not and should not mean the end of your personal life and being. Madison, Va.: My boyfriend, although amazing has twice clammed up when a situation happens. Had it been a first date in the traditional sense, I would never have gotten into bed with him, but being out of town staying in a hotel set us up in more non-traditional environment. If he wants you in his life, he needs to make it known in a way that shows that he cares...really cares. C.: All too often, I see the avoidable dating tragedy happen. Coleman: Rarely will people change their behavior if they are getting everything they want doing what they are doing. What kinds of dates did you go on that fueled your passion? What made you laugh until you cried or made you cry tears of wonderful emotion or sorrow? Will you date those who are on your committee, on your team or in your class? But they also might have friends who join you afterwards. Dust yourself off and you must believe that you are a GREAT CATCH. My last girlfriend told me I didn't make enough of an effort when it came to special occasions, but I guess I just don't see what the point is in this superficial holiday. I fear that I may be viewed a great "buddy" but not a "date." What's a girl to do to change her image? If you are around all the time and always dressed down or too casual and taking on characteristics of them, they will begin to see you as one of the guys, not as the gorgeous, sensual, romantic woman that I am sure you are. Then, instead of worrying about your reply, actually listen to what they say and react to them. My goal is to help people get out of their own way, form a plan of action, develop courage and confidence and become the fat penguin and meet their hmm... We flirt all the time - but I somehow feel "dirty" for even thinking of taking in further. Meaning, it is wonderful to be close as a couple but make sure to have lives apart as well. You think you know what you want and who you want and the type of things that make you feel loved and satisfied and comfortable and then you meet someone who knocks you for a loop and makes you challenge anything you've ever thought or known about relationships. Remember, American's love a comeback from an underdog! They begin to repeat the words and actions that lead to trouble before. Per your previous answer about getting intimate too soon, did I shoot myself in the foot by hooking up with him when I first met him? Here is the only hope as I see, send him a note that tells him that you still think about him and care about him, but you care about you more. I'm currently single and mulling over past mistakes and I'm wondering what your opinion is on Valentine's Day. Coleman: I know that hearing this from The Dating Doctor may sound strange, but I think that VALENTINE'S DAY SUCKS! But clearly things aren't going as well as I think they are if guys don't call again. If you are getting the "best friend, nice gal and buddy..not a lover" feeling from men, you are either not attractive to them in a romantic way or you are spending too much time around them when they are in their "let's hang out and be friends mood." MEN WANT WHAT THEY CANNOT HAVE! Take a list, on paper or in your mind of topic areas... shows, books you've read, musical tastes, things in life you're proud of, embarrassing moments you've survived, etc. The key is to ask your dating partner "open ended questions." These require an answer other than yes or no. I normally speak to large and small groups of men and women at a time. Bethesda, Md.: Hi David - What do you think of age differences in dating? The problem is I'm 34 and he's a recent college grad (22). So, with him being so young it makes that age difference even more profound. Yet he calls and tells me that he thinks about me all the time, says romantic things, etc. He's very confused as to why I want to suddenly have more time to myself. Coleman: Yes, it is VERY normal and if you two don't back off a bit he may smother you out of this relationship. 1 1=1 It takes one whole healthy INDEPENDENT person, plus another who healthy INDEPENDENT person to make a great relationship. It is being humble enough to admit when you are wrong. He showed initial interest in talking, even mentioning a potential visit to Baltimore, but now things have cooled. Coleman: Reasons things could have "cooled" since the wedding... He got what he wanted and although he may miss you and want you again, it isn't worth his time and effort due to the distance."The five stages of a happy relationship touched me the most," said Spc. He spoke about making relationships mat-ter by realizing that happiness is an inside job and the importance of being true to who you are. A,s about attitude." For those who are thinking of entering into a military love relationship, Coleman said to first become well-versed in military life and family life, be honest with each other and yourself for what might lie ahead, be sure you are strong enough to feel safe and secure alone, and commit to the other per-son with your whole heart, body and soul."When it comes to meeting new people, you have to be the fat penguin," said Cole-man. On keeping a marriage strong, he said communication is essential.